CaribPress » holiday’s

The Happiest Time of the Year?

svirtue — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 04:43:13 +0000

Happiest Time of the Year (Illustration)

For all the promise of joy, peace and harmony that comes with the holiday season, the reality for millions of people is that the season is anything but a celebration. For many, it’s a reminder of lost loved ones, personal disappointments and dreams left unfulfilled.

But for life coach Teri Johnson, whose personal journey through an imperfect life now inspires others to reach for the lives they’ve always wanted, the negative “nevers” of the disappointing hand life may have dealt you is where the healing starts. By confronting a never-ending and unproductive cycle of negativity, the elusive joy of the holiday season can be found not just now but every day of the year, says Johnson, author of the newly released book, Overcoming the Nevers (www.overcomingthenevers.com).

“You never thought you’d get divorced, but you did. You never dreamed you would find yourself in an abusive relationship, but you are. You never thought you would need to lose 200 pounds, but you do. And you never thought you’d be 45 years old without a job, losing your home and drowning in debt, but you are,” says Johnson.

“We start to believe lies about ourselves, such as “I’m not good enough” or “I’m undeserving.” We escape our pain and these toxic feelings into unhealthy behaviors and addictions. There is freedom from the struggle; there is hope in discovering the truth; there is a way to fall in love with who we are to experience a joy-filled season, and more importantly a joy-filled life.”

Johnson’s tools for overcoming the “nevers” that drag many down during the holiday season are:

• Acceptance: Do you have the strength to make the changes necessary to turn a situation around through an attitude of acceptance? Or will you remain powerless, remain in the state of non-acceptance and let everything around you dictate how you feel? The journey starts with accepting that you can’t change others, but you do have power over your own life.

• Surrender: What we surrender ourselves to ultimately becomes our god, what we turn to or upon which we rely. The question then is: What are we surrendered to? Is it something firm, solid and long-lasting or something that hurts us in the end?

• Joyfulness: Hold tight to your unique gifts and talents to enrich your own life and impact the lives of those around you. Build on what you’re good at, what makes you special and what makes you feel good about yourself.

• Discovery: Confronting the truth about who we are deep inside helps us overcome our painful past and discover the basis for those “nevers.”

• Faith: Until we accept love for ourselves from God, from others and towards others, the healing will not begin. Embracing love is an ongoing process that starts with learning to like yourself and with a willingness to accept your imperfections.

Johnson advises that the process of confronting internal struggles and the “nevers” of life isn’t easy, but no treatment program, no diet and no New Year’s resolution can be successful without breaking down the essence of individual struggles and making the necessary adjustments to attain the life you deserve.

“If the life you are living is full of unacceptable and disappointing things and you don’t want to spend another year like this, the only thing holding you back right now is your own confusion, self-doubt and anger,” she says.

“You don’t have to keep doing what you’re doing or feeling what you’re feeling, but you do need to come to terms with yourself and surrender yourself to faith that there is a better way.”

About Teri Johnson

Teri Johnson is a writer, speaker and personal growth expert who is the founder and President of Keeping it Personal. Having struggled with alcohol addiction and destructive habits herself, the Minnesota native turned her own experiences in overcoming obstacles to personal fulfillment into a client-focused service that has transformed the lives of many. Now a devoted wife and mother of two sons, she now devotes her life to helping others find their path to success and happiness while shedding destructive thoughts and behaviors.

The Happiest Time of the Year?

svirtue — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 01:18:45 +0000

Johnson’s tools for overcoming the “nevers” that drag many down during the holiday season are:

• Discovery: Confronting the truth about who we are deep inside helps us overcome our painful past and discover the basis for those “nevers.”

“You don’t have to keep doing what you’re doing or feeling what you’re feeling, but you do need to come to terms with yourself and surrender yourself to faith that there is a better way.”

No More Yo-Yo on Weight Loss

svirtue — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 07:13:13 +0000

Johnnie had an invitation for a party, but she was very discouraged.

“I have nothing to wear,” she said, lying on her bed in the dark, quite discouraged as she looked at the wardrobe full of dresses and slacks that were all too small.

Then Johnnie’s mind flashed back to happier days as a child, when she loved playing with the colorful yo-yo her mother gave her. Up and down and in and out went the multi-colored circle.

Many holidays had come and gone since then. Johnnie had gone to many dinner parties and eaten a lot of good cooking. Now she looked at her wardrobe, forced to deal with the fact that her gorgeous dresses were hanging in the closet because they were too tight.

Johnnie knew that she had put on more weight.

It’s wasn’t the first time. After months and years of diets and milk shakes, diet bars, starvation diets, and even a membership in the local gym, Johnnie did lose some pounds from time to time. But they always came back. She would lose 10 and gain 15. This went on for years. Up and down, in and out—just like the yo-yo.

Johnnie was discouraged.

When she stood in front of her closet and looked at herself in the mirror, she would say to herself: “I am ashamed, and I thought I was doing so well.”

She thought again of that old yo-yo. Losing five or 10 pounds is never a problem, she thought. But there’s always a holiday season coming up, or a wedding party. The weight comes back. The clothes pile up in the closet.

It’s more than a wardrobe problem, too. Johnnie realized that she’s getting older, and finding out about health problems that are a direct cause of years of build up weight. She decided that it’s time for a real change.

But how?

Johnnie remembered an article in a health magazine she had read recently. It talked about changing eating habits and exercise such as walking. She remembered the health classes that she went to several years ago, where she heard about ‘lifestyle changes’. But she wondered: “How do these ideas come together for me?”

She took another look in the closet full of designer jeans and colorful dresses that she couldn’t wear because they were too tight. She dug down deep inside herself for help.

Self determination came forward. Johnnie went into the cluttered drawer and fished out her motivational poster. She reached for the glue and pasted the poster to the fridge door, covering the coupon that said “Buy One Burger Get One Free.” Then she searched through some old envelops and found a photo from years gone by. Johnnie decided that she would become slim and trim again.

The first step for Johnnie was simple to identify: No more trick diets. Then she found a “buddy”— a friend for support. Working with someone else, or even a small group at times, helped keep her motivated—and kept her from feeling alone, isolated and bored.

Johnnie also changed her routine. She stopped sitting in front of the entertainment box. She started taking walks through her neighborhood. At first she got tired real fast, but little by little her resistance built up.

The third step came when Johnnie cut back on her portions of food at meal time. She soon was eating just half of everything that she used to have on her plate.

These small changes led to more changes—and even some goals. Johnnie decided to do more than just lose some pounds. She committed to getting fit and staying fit. Simply fitting into the clothes in the closet was no longer the goal. Johnnie wanted to be her ideal weight—she decided to dream of being mean and lean. Johnnie has decided that her long- term goal is nothing short of living healthier and longer.

There’s still a lot of work to do. Johnnie now reads more health magazines and wellness books. She even plans ahead for her meals. No more fast decisions—or fast food. Eating has become more enjoyable and meaningful for Johnnie. Her self-education about health and wellness has made her focus on healthy habits, changing her lifestyle.

The pounds are going away and staying away because Johnnie stopped playing games and threw that old yo-yo away.

(More about Johnnie next time).

RMJ is the author of “Afraid no More”